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©2006-2009 `devildoll
Artist's Comments
My Mom took this the night before Scheurmann died in my arms exactly where I'm sitting in this photo in his purple blankie.
 I know I look like total shit in this picture with no make up on and have been crying for days with no sleep. Still this picture means so much to me. I sat there just holding him like this for a long time that night. I miss him so much. When I took him to my vets Sat. in his blankie with his urn and my locket I asked if they could keep him wrapped up in it while he was in the freezer. My Mother brought him home to me when I was 8 years old. He was about 7 weeks old at the time. I've had him for 18 years of my life. He was my child, my baby, my best friend and so much more that words can't describe. He was a one person cat. I was his alone and vice versa. In 1999 my parents and I moved from my home state of Michigan to Arizona. During the time of the move I almost lost him forever. The movers were hauling out furniture out onto the truck. I ran to the store to get something since we were hitting the road that afternoon and when I cam back home the movers had gotten there already and ended up scaring Scheurmann into a panel in my bedroom closet that went into and under the tub in our bathroom. We never knew if he went down there or got out the front door. We searched for hours and I begged, cried, prayed that he would come out of the hole he climbed down to if he was indeed there. I had a feeling he was down there. He wasn't the kind of cat to run out of the front door, because he had been a inside cat all his life. It was sad after spending so long trying to get him to come out we had to finally leave and get going on our journey across state to our new home. I don't know how I emotionally was able to handle driving with the crisis and pain I was going through. I wanted to die because my heart was breaking knowing he was alone and scared. I must have blocked it from my mind on the drive out to AZ. The cleaning ladies of our old apartment promised to try and find him for me and I left a cat carrier open in the empty living room incase he came out of the hole and they did find him. We called the next day to see if they had any luck and they said when they opened the front door they saw him sleeping in the carrier, but he took off and ran back into the whole before they could catch him. They left food and water for him since they knew he was still there. It took about 4 days of trying to get him before they finally caught him. I was so relived and so happy because I knew he was ok now. It coasted us about $400 bucks to have him flown out to us because he had to go get a certificate of health from a vet before they would fly him and we had to pay the management and staff of course for doing all this for us. I'll never forget the day that my Brother Scott drove my Dad and I out to the Tucson airport to pick him up on the day he was flown out to me. I started crying and was so happy. I always said that God gave me a second chance with him and I promised I would never make him move again, leave him or put him through any trauma again. Well I kept that promise till his dying day and as much as it hurts me right now not to have him in the flesh I thank God for these extra years I was able to spend with him. I also thank God I had those few weeks to spend with him before he passed over. Allot of my friends online including you guys kept telling me to cherish every last moment with him. That at least I know he was ill and not going to live for more then a few weeks because I could say goodbye to him and spend his last days loving him and preparing for his passing like getting his urn ordered and the locket to hold his ashes. I really feel that I spent those last weeks and days with him to the fullest I could possibly do. When I get his ashes back with his urn and my heart locket they will give me the blanket back also. I plan on setting up a memorial site on the table in our living room. His blanket with his urn on top with the yellow rose in the picture which my Mom gave to me, as well as the stuff kitty I'm holding that my Mom bought because she thought it looked like him. I will take a pic of the memorial once it's set up. Thank you so much for every ones thoughts, prayers, love, support and condolences. I can't reply to every single one of you, but each comment and word helped me more then you know.  If anyone is willing to take this photo and manipulate it in any ways for me it would be appreciated also. I think the quality is poor and maybe someone can put a diffrent background or touch it up for me. |
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January 9, 2006
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Comments
Tonight I shall hug all my dogs and keep your sweet love in my heart.
I am so so sorry for your loss.
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But that's O.K. I'm only burned on the inside
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DAA Registered Visitor Badge # 34
Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.
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love, nikki
click [link] for a good time!
see ALL my icons here: [link]
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The Dark Lord
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"Sink your teeth into myne neck and feaste upon me" -Luna
*Hugs* <33
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Live in the present, remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now.
poor kitty... i dont know what to say
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Drown in the light...
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